Day 31- Hanging in, just

Hi,

I haven't drunk.
Saturday night and I really want to escape, I feel really irritated and desperately wanted a drink tonight.  It's 10pm now I am tucked up in bed, and if I close my eyes I can feel anxiety washing all over my body, as well as lodged in the pit of my stomach.  I am going to keep it short, as I am going to go back to reading, it is currently my savour.....

Hopefully tomorrow, I will feel better.  I am going to promise myself to write a long post tomorrow.  I know need to record the process, in order progress (not sure why, just my gut feeling)

Good night, back tomorrow


Miss meg

Day 4- Day 13

Have woken up with a headache, this is quite typical for me when I give up booze.  I know it is not sugar withdrawal,  as I have had plenty.

This is as far as I got writing my Day 4 post..... Stopped and decided to wait until my headache disappeared as writing was causing my headache to spike- assumed that would mean I would be  writing  again on Day 5/6...... But no my headache lasted 4 days, followed by an achy cold/ flu, just when I thought that was subsiding another headache/ migraine hit last Sunday.  On Monday when I woke up nauseated with a blinding headache, I went off to the doctor.  We discussed what it could possibly be caused by......however when I left it hit me, I know perfectly well what causes it (I think I was hoping the doctor could tell me it was something else) and I was disappointed that I was was not honest with him or myself.  Although I am prone to headaches I believe these severe headaches are caused my alcohol cessation...... They always occur everytime I quit, however the scary part is although alcohol quantity has not increased between the stop/ start process my body's reaction to stopping is getting worse.  I cannot/ must not  take this piece of evidence lightly, particularly considering one night I was sitting on the couch terrified that a blood vessel in my brain could explode due to the pain/ pressure this migraine was causing, and I should really consider going to A&E.  I didn't; partly because I was too ashamed, and the other reason being I thought it was me just been overly dramatic (suck it up and ride it out). According to the doctor, no I wasn't been overly dramatic, as he said headaches that are very painful and come on instantly are the ones to be weary of.....

Good news for me however

(1) Headache went this morning, and body aches gone.  Just left with a tremendous cough, I sound like a 3 pack a day smoker...
(2). Have not had a drink.  This has been relatively easy, due to feeling absolutely crap. Mind you my little friend the alcohol nemesis, kept telling me it is ok you will feel like a drink when when you are feeling better..... Must be careful as history tells me this is when I fold....

Day 3 - sweaty but ok

Hi,

Day 3 has been quite good.  Ok sleep, however I seemed to sweat a bit; a bit scary on one hand, but if it means my body if trying to adjust to no toxic alcohol in it, bring the sweat on I say! 

I spent today with my cool (my version of.....anyway) little family.  We relaxed in the morning hangover free  (my partner rarely drinks) went out for a nice brunch and then hit the garden.  I gardened like a maniac, in between playing all sorts of T-Rex, turtle and ghost games. I even felt some good energy vibing through my body, absolutely delightful. By witching/ wining hour I was so exhausted, which seemed to make the wine nemesis keep her distance.  

When I sat down later to relax,  the Wizard of Oz was on, watched it up until it turned colour (as couldn't sit through the whole thing.....a bit creepy- sorry any wizard lovers), and I thought gees - I have definitely have successfully recoloured my world a little bit today - shit where did l leave my ruby shoes.......also gave me a sharp reminder that I must take this non alcohol choice seriously, as I definitely don't want to end up in Miss Gardland actual shoes dead at 47 from alcohol/ drugs.  MM

D

M

Day 2

Hello,

Keeping it brief, AF but I am exhausted. In summary:

1 . Had a coma type of sleep last night - 100 percent awesome
2. Woke up feeling ok, but very unmotivated, I would have spent the day in bed if I could.
3.  Had a pleasant day with my3 year old.  We were meant to go and do a group thing, but I decided lets just hang just the two of us. Good choice, as I always seem to be rushing around to do something,
4. Took 3year shoe shopping and this is what he picked. Brilliant, my world felt a little more colourful, than the day before:). We went for a walk afterwards,, and as he danced along wereceived quite a few happy smiles from people. (The power of colour and free spirit)

5. My friend the wine nemesis came to visit around 3:30pm.  Kept bugging me, I pushed her away and cracked open an AF beer that I invested in yesterday.  Never tried one before, I know there are 2 different schools of thought on such substitutes, but I know from past attempts  of giving up, I need to work out what works for me.  Must say it got me over hurdle, didn't want a second, then once other half got home went for a walk which seem to be death of the wine nemesis (for today) , she wasn't interested in exercise......

Namaste

Miss meg

Day 1, Day 1 no more booze for me thanks

Hi,

I have been too much drinking, leaving me feeling emotionally and physically shredded  (to say the least).  Today I went to a café to get a break from my work, and saw this date plastered on the front of the paper and decided these numbers were going to be extraordinary to my life. 

DAY 1 - nearly done, I am going to get some sleep - catch you tomorrow (would love to say more, however it is taken me so long to work out how to paste this into my blog.....)
Catch you tomorrow
Miss Meg